This is part 2 of the Parenting with Vision Loss blog. If you haven’t already done so, please read part 1 before continuing.
When considering how to share your experience as a parent with sight loss, it can be difficult to know where to begin. What does it mean to be an advocate as a parent with sight loss?
There are several reasons why sharing your experience could be valuable. Here are a few to consider:
- Educating others about sight loss can help to create an inclusive environment for you and your family.
- Communicating with medical professionals, schools, and extracurricular programs can help ensure the necessary accommodations for you and your family.
- Speaking with an organization such as Future In Sight can help you and your family build a network that can assist you with tools and training to achieve set goals.
- Talking with others can help you tap into support systems that can offer resources as well as encouragement and advice.
- Connecting with decision makers and sharing your experience allows you to advocate for your rights and the rights of others as it relates to sight loss.
- Exploring open communication with your family can help build a model of confidence, resilience, empowerment and appropriate communication for both you and your loved ones.
Now that we have covered communication, let’s dive into how you can help your child develop the skills they will need to be successful.
Reading and Homework:
I wanted my children to be strong early readers. I remember when they were just two years old lining up Sesame Street alphabet blocks along the coffee table. I could recognize the letters by touch, while my children learned the alphabet visually. At first, we memorized the ABC’s song. Then we worked on sounds. I’d move the blocks around to form rhyming words like “cat”, “hat”, and “bat”. They took to this quickly and we had fun with it. When they got a little older, I took an early reader book series and added the words in Braille for each page. I followed along with my Braille copy, as they learned to sound out and read the printed words. I can probably still recite some of those early readers by heart. When they went off to school the administration asked who taught them to read, and I proudly stated that I did. Over the years I helped them with everything I could. We would practice simple addition and subtraction with french fries by counting the fries, sharing them and eating them and a little later in life we practiced multiplication tables while waiting for the school bus. It was always a matter of being creative and communicating with their teachers so I could get ahead of their needs in school.
Take aways from this story:
- Set yourself up for success by communicating proactively with your child’s teachers.
- Make learning and homework fun.
- Add tactile or other necessary components so you can follow along.
With homework out of the way, let’s discuss how to support your children through play.
Arts and Crafts:
Both my girls loved being creative. They loved play dough. I had to work really hard to keep track of the play dough colors, until sometimes I’d just let them have fun and mix them up. I bought a lot of play dough through the years. If they wanted to finger paint, that was an organized activity. I would make holes in a large trash bag for a head and arms, and they would wear that in order to avoid getting paint all over themselves. I placed a plastic tablecloth over the table, and they had a designated seat where they would paint. When they were finished, I threw away the plastic tablecloth and trash bags. Once the girls were cleaned up, I would wash the kitchen floor in a grid style to ensure there was no remaining paint spills or stains. Cleaning on a grid system is a common practice as part of daily living skills for the blind and visually impaired. Coloring was a more calming activity, one I often participated in. My favorite method was using crayons, as crayons provide some tactile feedback. I would purchase bold and tactile coloring books through websites like Maxi Aids. Sometimes, instead of coloring in a coloring book, we’d have coloring games where we’d try to guess what each other drew. When they came home with artwork from school, I’d ask interested questions and encourage them to explain it to me so I could enjoy it with them.
Take aways from this story:
- Set yourself up for success by prepping spaces for easy cleanup before arts and crafts begin.
- Use tactile tools such as bump dots or talking labels to help keep paint and play dough colors organized.
- Get involved by getting tactile crafts for yourself (and your kids) or by asking questions about their artwork. Future In Sight offers regularly schedule arts and crafts opportunities through our calendar of activities. Check out the Kaila’s Crafts series!
We’ve now covered learning skills, homework, and creative play. Let’s consider some other ways you may want to get involved.
We had all types of adventures when my daughters were growing up. Hide and seek in the dark and imagination through play were some of their favorites. We also played a lot of card games and board games. I was able to actively participate in these activities by creating fair playing fields and utilizing tactile versions of some of their favorite games. Whether it is the parent or the child that has sight loss, there are lots of options to promote engaging playtime for the family.
Take aways from this story:
- Be an active participant in your child’s play.
- Create an even playing field by making everyone close their eyes or purchasing tactile versions of common games. Some great websites for games include Independent Living Aids website and the Braille Bookstore.
Now that we’ve covered the fun stuff, let’s discuss how to ensure your children aren’t taking advantage of your sight loss.
My children were pretty good eggs, but yes, like all children, they had their moments. For example, I never realized my older daughter had written ‘I love Peter Pan’ in marker on her wall above her bed until she was in Middle School. We were repainting the room, and she admitted she did this when she was about 6 years old. It was difficult to punish her after all those years. My younger daughter once ordered the Bee movie off of cable, which we paid for when the bill came out. They also both admitted to sneaking downstairs to watch a movie we were watching or try to listen in on our adult conversations, which I found out about much later. Honestly, they were pretty responsible and reliable children. I think their dad and I have more mischievous tales than they do, but that’s another blog.
Take aways from this story:
- Kids will be kids. Don’t beat yourself up.
- Practice open communication and create an environment where your child feels safe to make mistakes.
- Put safety protocols in place to ensure in the case of a serious emergency, everyone knows what to do and how to best support one another.
Speaking of safety, lets discuss how you as parents can help manage your child’s social lives and early friendships.
My younger daughter had three friends who lived on our street. Their parents regularly dropped them off at my house. We would bake cookies, do arts and crafts, and go to the park. The families entrusted me and knew I’d never let them down. As my girls grew older, they were allowed to ride bikes and play in the neighborhood, using family radios to check in with me. This was in the early years before cell phones. Their privileges grew with their ages and maturity.
Take aways from this story:
- Make other children and their parents feel comfortable by opening your home for playdates.
- Build your own friendships with parents, demonstrating your competence and confidence.
- Increase privileges as they age and their maturity increases.
The topic of parenting with vision loss is an endless sea of making it work.
We truly were the family that walked to the store in every type of weather. I’m so grateful for Uber and public transportation today, but we also have some fond memories of those early years. My kids learned how to ask for customer service, how to ride the city bus, how mom’s white cane magically parts a crowd of people walking along a busy sidewalk, and to never ever leave cupboards and doors half open (ouch!). Most importantly, my children have learned that people come in all different sizes, shapes, colors, disabilities, and that is the beauty of life! We are all mosaics, and none of us have all the answers.
If you are a parent with vision loss, or the parent of a child with vision loss, we have services and support that can help. Please reach out to our Client Care Team by calling (603) 224-4039 or emailing [email protected].